This week I going to break from the norm,

I am going to instead write about things I have been noticing all around me. I will start with how I began to notice these things and my first thoughts.

I will then go over what I found when I researched on this subject and then how I began to rethink my views on this topic. I will then finish off with a story and some final thoughts.

So let me get straight into this. Let me start off by telling you that I am very much locked away in my own little world.

I very seldom look up from what I am doing and look around. I get onto myself all the time telling myself that I should pay more attention to the world or that I should go get a social life.

I am sure many of you are the same way and honestly, I think this is very much the way of the world these days. We just get to wrapped up in our own day to day lives.

Every so often I look up and look around and I am almost always reminded pretty quickly why I am the way I am. It just never fails that when I look up the world is full of negative, angry people who are just trying to tear people down or distorting the truth of the situation.

It is amazing just how negative and angry people really are.

How I first started noticing these things:

I decided to catch up on the local news one day about three weeks ago, just to see how everything was going. Now, not that this is a surprise to anyone I am sure but it was one negative story after another.

I then interacted with a few people regarding some feedback on some of their work. Although the feedback was meant to be constructive. I can assure you it was not received that way.

This person had some choice words to share with me.

I really didn’t understand their reaction to my feedback but if it made them feel better to tear me down I guess I would let them with the understanding that it really wasn’t personal this person was just having a bad day.

Then about a week, after all, this I started hearing from family and friends that they were dealing with people who were at the time giving them a hard time or making their life more difficult than needed.

My first thoughts:

At first, I was stunned and taken back. I always am when I see this level of anger and negativity toward people. Do I have to ask why?

The more I listen to friend and family complain about their issues the more I asked why? The why lead me to find some answers. I started doing some research.

What I found:

• According to WEB MED anger can be used for good but when prolonged it is neither good, helpful or healthy.
• Steady Health Has all kind of reasons why a person might have excessive anger or have anger management issues. Let me note that many times when someone does not have a logical reason for being angry with you in most cases they either struggle with anger management issues or they are overstimulated in some way. (such as in being stressed out or overly emotional)
• American Psychology Association goes over what anger is and how to handle it better with relaxation techniques
• Puddle Dancer. Goes over how to handle people’s anger. This post is full of all kinds of great advice.
• Mind Tool talks on how you can better communicate with people who are angry.

There are several other posts on this subject. Which only confirmed that I am not the only one who is noticing this ever-growing problem.

After reading all these posts I began to start rethinking my way of thinking on this subject.

The rethink:

1. For starter, you should never take anything that people say in anger personal
2. You should recognize where the real problem is. In many cases, people are not really angry for the reason you think. A lot of the time it really doesn’t have anything to do with you at all which is why not taking thing personally is a good rule of thumb.
3. You should always remember to pause a.k.a breath. When you do this you allow your thoughts to process before responding. You will find when you do this In many cases you do not respond with anger but instead understanding and empathy. (at least that is what I have experienced) and in other cases you do not respond at all rather you just let it go and move on about your day.
4. Respond rather than react. This goes back to the breathing. You should never just jump down someone’s throat whether they deserve it or not. It will only make the problem worse in most cases. It is far more effective and productive to respond. By doing this you are allowing the other person to know that you would like to find a resolution to the problem.
5. Remember to always manage your own stress and emotional issues. When you keep yourself in check you are not as affected by other people’s imbalances.

These tips began to help me to reset my mind frame and approach these subject differently. Maybe these tips will work for you the same way. Who knows?

I remember when:

This brings a story to mind. I once heard an interview with a woman who is a women’s activist and blogger. As she was telling her story she was going on about how she made a comment one day on a topic she felt strongly about.

She said never in a million years did she think she would have the response that she had. She tells how people were calling her every name in the book and just plain being ugly and hateful toward her.

She stated that the things people were saying really hurt her feelings and took her off guard. She said she really thought about throwing in the towel at that point but then she realized it takes all kinds of people to make this world work and she was one of those people.

The comment she gave never deserved the response that it got but she realized that life is not always fair and sometimes people will be unkind toward you, they may be unjust toward you, and although it is usually uncalled for it is okay. This is all just apart of being human and part of this business.

If you are willing to put yourself out there, you better be prepared to get buried, torn down, ridiculed and treated poorly. The best advice she could give was to develop a thick skin.

This interview was so profound to me. It is hard to be a part of this world for many people and it is hard to work with people who are negative or angry. Who does nothing but a complaint about this or that?  It seems to be so much harder when you are running your own business.

When you step out on your own you tend to feel alone and when you compound that with people shouting their negative and anger toward you it just makes things so much worse.

I would definitely say I agree to be in business for yourself you have to have a thick skin.

Final thoughts:

I would also say you have to have a sense of humor. I am a very serious person by nature but when other people start to impact my mental or emotional well being I know it is time to lighten up and laugh.

You really should not allow others to impact your state of being. When you allow them to do this they not only achieve their goal of hurting you they also hurt and effect all the lives you touch, through you. When you are faced with a situation that is affecting your state of being you need to stop and ask yourself is this person and what they have to say important enough to affect me and everyone I am around?

• If the answer is no then just let it go.
• If yes then start looking for a solution to the problem.

I have since gone back into my own little world but this time I have a better understanding of why so many people struggle with anger and how I can better handle these situations.

I really hope you got something out of this post. If you enjoyed this post please like and share this with others.